Franny and Zooey

Last week a friend from our congregation handed me his copy of Franny and Zooey by J.D.Salinger (The Catcher In the Rye), told me he thought I might enjoy it and that it was closest thing to a conversion experience he's had reading a book. I'm not through it yet, but it's a great read so far.

In the "Franny" portion of the book, there is a quote by the character so named that has got me thinking ever since. In a conversation with her boyfriend, she exclaims, "I'm just sick of ego, ego, ego. My own and everybody else's. I'm sick of everybody that wants to get somewhere, do something distinguished and all, be somebody interesting. It's disgusting - it is, it is. I don't care what anybody says."

I read this passage to our house church the other day and opened it up for discussion. Though it is written in 1961, I wonder if she's on to something here for our time. It seems to me that many of our more well-attended churches in the U.S. preach some form of this self-empowerment, albeit with a Christian slant - fulfilling God's dreams and destiny for your life, of discovering your purpose and passion. I've even preached some of these messages myself. And in one sense, I think the pursuit of meaning and purpose is intrinsic to being human. What we are saying in this pursuit is, Who am I? What I am created to do? What is my unique contribution to this world? This is holy pursuit.

But I'm also beginning to wonder if there is a danger lurking in the way we can go about it, that there is a way that we can seek to get somewhere, do something distinguished, be someone interesting, all invoking the name of Jesus, yet doing so quite apart from him.

I asked our house church, "Did Jesus get somewhere? Did he do something distinguished? Was/Is he someone interesting?" The consensus was, "Of course." We all agreed to that. He is the most interesting and important person in all history. "But," I pressed, "Did he set out to do that? Were those his goals?"

When we read the gospels, we see that Jesus did get somewhere, that he was distinguished and interesting. We get that part right. But it doesn't appear that those were his goals. Instead, his goal was to stand with humanity in their need and estrangement from God and turn their faces back toward the grace and love found in Jesus' own life and love with the Father. He did this by humanizing those right in front of him - the leper, the Samaritan woman, the Pharisee at night. In Jesus, love came through a healing touch, a shared meal, an invitation to follow. In this way Jesus indeed got somewhere through his own life, death, and resurrection for the sake of others. Those who would later write about him note his life of distinction and interest though he himself did not seek fame nor try to make a name for himself. His life was marked by love and grace, sacrifice and humility.

It seems that Jesus did get somewhere and did become someone distinguished not by pursuing these as ends, but by loving others well and living a life of obedience in the ordinariness of life. Significance was not the goal, but a by-product of the extent of Jesus' love for broken humanity. To re-frame Franny's words, Jesus in his self-giving was completely without ego.

In my observation, there is a way that our generation is apt to pursue getting somewhere and attempting to live a distinguished and interesting life as a goal in itself. But when it's our core goal, it is a pursuit foreign to Jesus.

The difference may be subtle, but one that comes with a warning, I think. What may only be an error in measurement of 1mm on this side of a piece of wood may well end up being an error of a foot on the other, or to put it more dramatically, an error of just a few inches here on earth can mean sending a satellite miles off course in space. Could what we slightly get wrong in our 20's and 30's turn out to make all the difference in our old age? Is this what Jesus meant that we can gain the whole world and yet lose our souls?

I'm wondering if our pursuit of the illusive somewhere makes the goal always "out there" and abstract, never what's right in front of us and human. I wonder if in the pursuit of doing something distinguished and interesting it's more about us rather than about God. I wonder if all the searching for our purpose and passion can make a mysterious complexity out of simply loving people and blessing others with everything we have. I wonder if our desire to really go somewhere and be somebody can really be self-absorption and narcissim masked as divine pursuit.

The quest for significance, meaning, and purpose is a holy, human, and good pursuit. But for the follower of Jesus the nature and content of that pursuit must be marked by the road paved through humility, service, compassion, and generosity. In Jesus own life, we see that they are one and the same.

Ultimately what Jesus shows us is that way to true humanity starts by having the right end in mind. If we are to get anywhere in this life it must be the by-product having love as the goal, where people are not means but the ends. Maybe the answer to living our own lives of distinction is found in making the lives of others more distinguished and interesting, to encourage the humanity of others through our own.